


Blackout

by Kattwyllie



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Christmas Party, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Explicit Language, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28032030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattwyllie/pseuds/Kattwyllie
Relationships: Alexandra Cabot (L&O: SVU)/Reader
Kudos: 14





	Blackout

Alex didn’t mind the holiday season, the festivities around the city were kind of cute. It was nice to see people coming together, full of smiles and glee as they raced through the city in various celebrations. She did however, loathe company Christmas parties, she not only _had_ to attend the one the D.A’s office threw, it was under high recommendation she attend the SVU squad’s party, and that didn’t even begin to breach the other holiday balls and galas the New York elite legal world were expected to appear at.

Tonight she was trapped at the SVU’s party, though it was at least the squad, a handful of the uni’s who worked at your precinct, and smattering of other specialists who worked alongside the unit, eager to take advantage of the cheap bar and free food. She’d flitted through the crowd, spending as much time as she could handle with the few people she could put up with, mainly sticking around Liv’s side, knowing she wouldn’t murder anyone as long as she was around, their friendship able to get her through most of the night while she tossed back glasses of scotch. 

You were able to avoid her most of the night, giving her a quick nod the few times your paths did cross, thankful you were never alone together and it was easy for you to slip off unnoticed to another circle. 

Alex hated you, or at least, you were ninety-nine percent sure she did. She always blew you off, she was even more curt, cold and distant with you than everyone else. Though to be completely honest she was like that with most of the team. You’d tried your best to prove yourself to her, to be nice when she first transferred in, but after a while it just became an exhausting task that wasn’t worth it anymore. Her standoff-ishness making you roll your eyes on many occasions, and it wasn’t long before she was your least favourite person at work.

It was shortly before eleven that Olivia approached you, Alex practically stumbling on her arm. You’d seen her tossing back liquor like it was no problem, but hadn’t seen her eat anything all night.

“You were DD-ing tonight right?” Liv quietly asked.

“Yeah, I’m working tomorrow, figured it’d be best to only have one.”

“You think you’d be able to get Alex home?” Olivia’s eyes begged at you, knowing that not only did Alex definitely need to go home, but she’d be more than happy knowing she had managed to get out of there before anyone really noticed how obliterated she’d gotten. You sighed heavily, 

“Does she even know her address?” Alex mumbled off a series of numbers that were at least understandable, and when plugged into your phone were of an apartment. You double checked she had everything, phone, keys, purse, and grabbed a bottle of water from the bartender before guiding her out of the bar and into your car.

*

You were annoyed when your alarm went off the next morning despite knowing you had to go in. You were at least the lucky one, getting a few extra hours than Carisi and Rollins who were out arresting a perp you’d been waiting on to turn back up. They had him in the box by the time you got there, waiting for your go ahead before they started questioning. Your tired nod was all they needed before you sucked back the coffee you’d picked up, watching through the glass. 

If you thought you were tired, the hoarse voice that half called out to you sounded completely wrecked. Your head didn’t even need to glance up before you knew who it was, the drink tray on the table extended in your had to her while your eyes didn’t leave the interrogation room.

“I know I should’ve been here earlier.” Alex apologized, her hand instantly grasping at the coffee you were holding out for her, her brow quirking at the bottle on the tray, turning it to face her, “Pedialyte? Isn’t that for babies?” You finally glanced up at her, swirling the nob to quiet Carisi’s early morning shouts from interrogation. You expected her to be hungover but was not expecting the casual hair pinned back, lack of makeup and much more casual clothes than her usual pristine suits.

“God Cabot you look like crap.” The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them, “sorry…” you flinched. “And..” You grabbed the coffee from her hand, “I’d start with the Pedialyte, the caffiene’s just gonna dehydrate you more.” She grumbled at your words, twisting open the bottle, heeding your warning to sip and not chug the electrolyte beverage.

“Where’s Benson?”

“Sorry to say you’re stuck with me. The ever so crappy side to being Sergeant…you get stuck with post party days.” You watched as she took a steady breath, leaning back against the table behind you, “there’s a greasy breakfast sandwich in there, might not be your style but it might help. I figured you’d want it.”

“I was really that bad last night that you knew I’d be fucking hurting today?” She winced, hating that she’d been so vulnerable infront of so many people she had a reputation to uphold. “I mean, I don’t even remember how I got home..I had no cash and there’s no record on my cards of cabs or anything.” Your cheeks flushed, an awkward laugh escaping your lips, “oh god what?” A very embarrassed blonde turned to you and you shook your head.

“The squad didn’t see anything. Liv got you outta there, but..I drove you home.”

“Fuck..I’m sorry.” Alex felt her heart start to beat a million miles a minute, she knew she should’ve been paying attention to the conversation on the other side of the glass but between her shame, her worry, and the nausea building in the pit of her stomach she simply couldn’t.

“I mean…when I’m that drunk I’m lucky if I even remember to lock my door. You’re just lucky your bathroom’s meticulously organized, I had no trouble finding things.” Alex’s eyes widened at your words, realizing what you meant. 

“Oh God…you were in my aparment?!”

“Listen..I’m not gonna say anything,” you sipped at your coffee, slightly turning towards her, “and I work in sex crimes. I wasn’t about to let you stumble into your apartment alone, it’s kinda part of the D.D.’s responsibility.” 

If Alex thought her heart was beating too fast before she felt like it was about to beat out of her chest right now. She knew you were a good person, of course you’d make sure to get anyone home safe who needed it. But God why did it have to be her??

“I…I didn’t say anything…incriminating…did I?” You gave an awkward laugh that made Alex worry even more, her stomach beginning to flutter and not because of the raging hangover.

“Maybe we should just focus on work.” You replied, unable to meet her eye as your hand twisted the dial up again, Carisi’s voice echoing through the speaker.

*

_“Give me your keys.” Your hand extended out to Alex once you’d parked in front of her apartment._

_“Mm fine.”_

_“Keys Cabot!” You rolled your eyes as she basically hucked them at you, stumbling out of your car._

_It was easier than you expected getting her upstairs and into her apartment. You tossed the keys with her purse on the table inside the door while she teetered off down the hallway. Making sure to grab her phone you filled up a glass of water and followed the shuffling noises into her bedroom. Alex was digging through a dresser drawer, her back to you while you ducked to plug her phone in, double checking the volume was up for the inevitable phone call you’d have to make the next day. She let out a high pitched whine of frustration that grabbed your attention, her usual nimble fingers unable to get the clasp on her dress undone._

_“God..” you muttered, “come here!” Pouting, the blonde tottered over to you, dumping the pyjamas she’d grabbed on the bed._

_Resting a hand on her shoulder you turned her around, swiftly undoing the clasp and pulling the zipper down her dress. You gave her a few minutes of privacy to change, hoping she could at least manage that on her own as you dug through her bathroom, eventually finding a package of make up wipes and a bottle of Advil. Moving back into the bedroom you added the Advil to the pile of morning after cures on the bedside table and handed her a make up wipe. She promptly threw it on the floor and collapsed against the pillows._

_“Jesus Christ I am never having children…” you muttered to yourself, pulling out another wipe as you sat on the edge of her bed, tugging her arm until she was sitting up again. “You’ve gotta take your make up off, your porcelain skin will hate you otherwise.” You mocked, she huffed at you in respsonse. With another eye roll you gently started wiping off her face._

_“You think I have porcelain skin?”_

_“You really miss sarcasm cues when you’re blitzed don’t you?” She just stared at you in response, her brain not really able to comprehend your words. When you finished wiping off her second eye of its shadow, her fingers gently wrapped around your wrist, bringing your hand down from her face._

_“You’re really pretty…”_

_“A-ha. And that is the tequila talking.” You tossed the wipe in the trash, “now please tell me you don’t have contacts in because we are not friends and sticking my finger in your eyeball requires a certain level of friendship.” The expression on her face changed, her frame shrinking back from you and she suddenly looked like she was about to cry._

_“We’re…not friends?”_

_“Alex…” you sighed, “you’re not gonna remember any of this so it doesn’t really matter what I say. You’re not nice to me, and in return, I don’t really like you. You should at least have some kind of respect for the Sergeant of your squad, but you really don’t.”_

_“I adore you…” you couldn’t help the snort that came out, “I-I mean it. You’re gorgeous,” her hand reached out in an attempt to grab yours, stroking down your arm, “hardworking..driven…” she paused to hiccup, “when you smile I feel like a…puppy.” She hesitated a second but then began to lean in towards you and you knew it was time to get out of there._

_“Ohkay.” You patted her hand, standing from the bed, “when you can say that without slurring so hard I can barely understand you…I’ll believe you.” Alex dropped back against the bed, curling so her back was to you. “Do you need a puke bucket?”_

_“No.” Her voice was muffled by the blankets but it had a shake to it now that was different than before. God, was she actually crying? This is why you hated dealing with drunk people. Sighing, you pulled the garbage can out from under her bedside table and moved it to optimal puke position just in case._

_“Try to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Swinging her bedroom door shut you left her apartment, ever so thankful you were finally headed for your own bed._

*  
Coming out of the interrogation room Alex eyed the paper bag holding the mentioned breakfast sandwich as she turned to Carisi.

“Where’s the Sarge?”

“Liv’s office.”

“Thanks.” She scooped up her bag, adding the sandwich and Pedialyte to it, picking up the coffee before heading over to the office, knocking on the doorframe gently. You gave her a quick nod as a welcome since you were still on the phone. She softly shut the door behind her, coming to lean against one of the chairs while you finished up your conversation.

“His lawyer didn’t take the deal?” You asked, taking in the expression on her face.

“Oh, no, he did.” She waved it off, “it’ll be fine. I just…you’re avoiding me. More than usual.”

“Counsellor..” You tried to warn her off the subject.

“No. I clearly said or did something last night that was rude, or hurt your feelings and I need to apologize. I may not have any memory of it, but I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“You’ve said far worse things to me stone cold sober, it’s fine.”  
“It really isn’t.” Naturally, she was persistent on the issue, “I’m more than able to rescind whatever I said if you’ll tell me.”

“You _really_ don’t need to. I promise, it’s fine.” You were doing your best to save her from the self inflicted embarrassment, urging her to drop it. But Alex was Alex and once she set her mind to something, she wasn’t about to fold and back down

“If I called you a name, or insulted your professional standing or something—“

“Fine! You really want to know what you did?”

“Yes!”

“Should I start with the part where you were acting like a toddler? Or the part where you confessed your undying love and then tried to kiss me?” Okay, you were being a little overdramatic with your wording, but she was always a bitch to you and maybe you were enjoying this a little bit. At least you were doing it in the privacy of the office and not infront of everyone.

“Oh..God.” Alex dropped down into the chair she was leant against, burying her face in her hands. You could see the flush speedily creeping up her neck.

“Told ya you didn’t want to know. I think our brains are trying to tell us something when we black out..we probably _don’t_ want to remember what we did or said.”

“I would rather you told me I puked on you.” Her voice muffled by her hands, not daring to look up at you yet.

“Hey, if that’s the rumour you wanna spread, go for it.” She tilted her head slightly, an eye poking out between her fingers, “We can go the normal route people do and pretend it never happened if you want to. Believe me, I’m not planning on telling anyone.”

“Really?”

“Just because we don’t like each other..or..so I thought..doesn’t mean I’m gonna spread gossip around the office. I mean, you were loaded, you probably didn’t mean it.”

“I don’t dislike you…” She was still leant forward, elbows on her knees, probably to keep the room from spinning, but she at least glanced up at you for real this time.

“So it’s true?” You teased.

“Well.. _undying love_?!”

“Okay, okay, I exaggerated a little bit.” You smirked, “but man, you’ve got to work on your flirting skills! Contrary to popular belief being mean to someone isn’t going to clue them in to a little crush.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted.” You warmly smiled at her, “now if you wanna dial back the bitchiness we can grab a coffee, start out as friends…give me a chance to catch up to where you are.”

“That’d be nice.” She smiled, her cheeks still flushed, but there was appreciation in her eye. There was a quick knock at the door before Carisi swung in,

“Hey Sarge, Chief’s here for ya.”

“For fucks sake,” you mumbled under your breath, standing from your chair you moved through the office, pausing briefly to squeeze Alex’s shoulder. “Liv’s got gravol in her desk if you need it. I’ll text you later?”

“Thanks.” She smiled, this time brighter, it actually reached her eyes this time as she watched you walk through the bullpen, a brilliantly fake smile on your cheeks as you greeeted Dodds. She may have embarrassed the hell out of herself, and felt like absolute garbage today, but maybe there was something good that could come from one too many tequila shots.


End file.
